Jessica Writes

Finally being able to feel the little flutters of a baby kicking.

Knowing that, in less than a week, we’ll find out if we are having a boy or a girl.

The kindness of strangers (thank you sweet ladies at the pool this weekend that noticed all the chairs were taken and saw me setting up shop on the concrete and offered me their seat).

Sweet friends and co-workers who understand I am not myself these days and still are nice to me even when I get testy/emotional or when I can’t edit a story to save my life (you know who you are).

My adorable DH when he says things like this: “I know that the baby will love me, but the baby will always love you more because you gave it a home while it was growing.”

Finally having a baby bump so at least I don’t look fat anymore, I actually look pregnant.

People touching my belly and especially people touching my bare belly under my shirt.

People who make comments about the “baby” when seeing me drinking a 8 oz. half decaf/half caffeinated cup of coffee.

People noticing and commenting on my arms getting bigger.

Strangers pointing to my belly and saying, “There goes another one.”

My stinkin’ aching back. It makes me feel geriatric.

Not being in control of my emotions.

Butt sweat. Don’t ask, it’s far too embarrassing.

Not being able to spell or edit well lately — two key functions of my day job.

Moronic neighbors who refuse to park their car so we can back out of our driveway without almost hitting them.

More later.

I am adding this lovely one, fresh from this morning:

When people look at my bump and say, “Ohhh, are you sure there’s not TWO in there???” Now, that my friends, tops them all.

Well, I didn’t get much accomplished in L.A. besides getting to see my hubby — which was the main objective. I really thought I would be able to find some cute maternity clothes but I guess only celebrities get cute clothes because I could not find anything anywhere. I broke down and went into Target’s maternity section and found a pair of pants. But that was the only thing I scored. I wanted to get some cute wedges and I couldn’t even find any I wanted to buy — that is NOT like me!

I don’t think I could ever live in L.A., not unless I could find a way to get everywhere I needed to go without getting on the interstate. My heart rate is still up from being on the freeway. It’s too scary — especially riding in a tiny Kia rental. The weather, though, is something I could get used to as long as I didn’t have to worry about wild fires! It was sunny and not humid at all even though it approached 90.

I didn’t get a respite from crazy hormones on my short weekend trip. The night I arrived, Chris woke up to me crying in my sleep. He had to wake me up from a nightmare that was causing me to sob. If I woke Chris up, who sleeps like the dead, I must have really been loud. It is so strange, being awoke suddenly from a dream or nightmare — your mind knows you are awake and nothing is wrong but it takes a while to really realized that. It took me a while to stop crying. I was dreaming Chris wanted to divorce me and not be a part of the baby’s life. So weird. I have never, ever woke up crying like that. I hope to never do it again!

Chris is in Los Angeles for a conference and will be going to Las Vegas next week for another one, so I flew here for the weekend. Got in late last night, but not too late to stop by Pinkberry for some delightful frozen goodness on the way to the hotel. What is Pinkberry? Only the best fro yo ever! Go to www.pinkberry.com for a little education on this good stuff. Around here, its called Crackberry because it is so addictive! I hope to get it at least once a day, if not twice, for the next few days I am here. It’s worth the four hour plus flight just to get a bowl of this awesome stuff.

Being that it is Hollywood, Chris has already had a few brushes with fame. Ritchie Sambora was at a red light beside him the other day — actually the same day ole Ritchie had a court day for DUI. And yesterday, an old friend from high school who is now a music producer called Chris and told him to come by the studio and hang out for a bit. His friend just happened to be recording for Depeche Mode and Chris got to meet them. Pretty crazy.

Last time I was here, I didn’t see one celeb, although I looked and even make Chris circle by the Ivy a couple times, but no luck. Maybe this time I will have a spotting of my own.

It’s gorgeous here this morning and I think it’s time to get cleaned up and look for some cute maternity clothes — and shoes! I must find some more shoes! Pregnant lady, hurt back-friendly shoes, of course!

Well, my “baby brain” aka a case of the stupids was in full effect today! I had sent my stories for my latest magazine off to my copy editor so she could look for typos and other errors. I got this email from her this afternoon:

Subject: What will a pregnant Jessica do next?

Well, you just made my day!

Here’s a sentence from your [redacted] story, and I will never let you forget this…………..

“He used to just shit on his chair and bed.”

I have laughed for 10 minutes.

I nearly fell out of my chair.

Thank you, pregnant Jessica for adding some fun to my day!!!!!!!

How funny/mortifying is that?? The worst thing is, the family already saw the story and approved it! Either they took pity on me, and spared me the embarrassment of not telling me or they just did not see it somehow. Gahhh.

Obviously, it should have read, “He used to just SIT on his chair and bed.”

(((smacks myself in the head)))

Since Chris is in sunny Los Angeles at a conference, his sweet mom, Rita, came in his place. I was so glad to have her there because we talked about C-sections and it really, really scared me.

I am admittedly the world’s hugest wuss and I have no pain tolerance. I never got my ears pierced because I could not even stand the anticipation of the momentary prick. I am so overly sensitive that I have had a phobia of knives and other very sharp objects for years. It took me forever before I would use a razor to shave, I used an electric razor until went to college; I used to hide from the doctor as a kid when I had to get a shot and, even more ridiculous, when I see a really sharp knife or other object I can almost feel it stabbing into me.

In a nutshell, I am a mess.

The C-section video didn’t even show a real procedure, it merely showed an animated illustration. That was enough to make the hairs on my arm and neck stand up and panic set in. I just had no idea that was how they do it, and I could not believe that most moms don’t get knocked out to undergo a C-section. Even if I could not feel it going on, I don’t want to be fully aware that someone is cutting into me! I seriously had a hard time with the whole thing.

Anyway, after that glimpse of terror, the video showed us what our baby’s first couple poops would look like. I cannot believe they show you real poop, I think I will know what poop is when my baby does it, I really don’t need to see all that. All I can say is….ewww. The baby sure will have some nasty things coming out of them. Yuck.

I have about decided that for the next several months you will pretty much only see me in dresses. You don’t have to worry about making an outfit match, and it feels like wearing pajamas all day long! I love the knit/jersey dress especially.

Here are three dresses I bought this weekend.

And here a a few other things i got!

I dreaded getting a swimsuit but I start PT in the pool tomorrow so I had to get something. And it will come in handy for our private (YES!) pool at the house we are renting in Hilton Head Island for a week in May!

I have been having pain in my lower back/hip on my left side for about a month now. I thought I had just pulled a muscle, and it really had not been much more than a nagging annoyance for the past several weeks. Well, it really flared up on Monday night, painful enough so that I called in sick on Tuesday and made a doctor’s appointment to see what was going on.

Well, they said it was a slipped disc/sciatica — which could have been aggravated by Pilates class. So, no more Pilates for me. Instead I’m planning to sign up for prenatal yoga and prenatal water aerobics. But first, I have to go get a few rounds of physical therapy.

Its not a big deal except, right now when I sit very long, my hip goes numb and there’s just a throbbing pain that shoots down my leg. So, I am just going to have to see how I can get this under control. I have been popping lots of Tylenol lately!

So Chris sold our coveted Predators hockey playoff tickets for Game 3 against the Red Wings so we could attend class last night. I have to say, this was a big sacrifice for him. I was sad about missing the game, but Chris loves, loves, loves hockey and loves going to playoff games even more. We will get to go to Game 4 Wednesday night, though, so hopefully we can pull off another win! Go Preds!

Anyway, this class was dedicated to childbirth interventions like epidurals and other medications. It was really scary for me to see how they put an epidural in because I am afraid of needles, and this was a needle and a cath that goes into your back! Eek! It will definitely give me lots to think about regarding our birth plan as I don’t think I can go all natural, but I want to be as educated as I can if I decide I want an epidural.

We learned what to expect during the different phases of labor, and the cartoon on our handout went from an excited face to an angry, I’m going to beat the you-know-what out of you face between the beginning of labor to the pushing stage. I’d say the illustrations were about dead on.

We got on the floor and practiced breathing methods, which was a little embarrassing for me, because remember I am taking this class waaaaay early, and here I am sitting among all these about-to-pop pregnant ladies trying to breathe while looking down at my tiny bump. A bump that really just looks like I ate too much pasta.

We also toured the Ob floor at the hospital. It was nicer than I expected. Vanderbilt is an older hospital and a lot of the rooms are kind of dingy, so I was glad to see these rooms were larger and nicer than I anticipated. The recovery room was smaller, but still OK. We also got to see the nursery and there was only one baby in there. I think most stay with the parents in the room.

I forgot to tell you what a colleague who just found out I was pregnant said. She said, “Oh, I thought maybe you got a boob job!” Can I say that was the BEST pregnancy comment yet? The only fun symptom is getting bigger up top and someone noticed! Whoo Wee! Now, if these new boobs would just stay like this after the baby … that would be great!

1. Breakfast. Chris was nice enough to fix sausage, biscuits and gravy on Saturday morning. He made them a little differently and I thought the gravy, which I drowned my biscuits in, tasted like baking soda. I was so hungry (go figure) and craving that breakfast, that when I couldn’t eat it, I began to cry. And cry and cry. Poor Chris. He made a Sonic run for me and got me a breakfast burrito.
2. Stinky litter box. I was going to try to chip away at our mountain of laundry on Saturday but every time I went near the washer and dryer, I saw the gross, dirty litter box that Chris had not yet cleaned. I got so frustrated, I began crying hysterically. Then I had a headache on top of my earlier crying headache which didn’t go away the whole day.