Jessica Writes

Well, its been six days since the giant, 7-pound Costco cake entered our home and our tummies. I OD’ed on the cake on day four. Chris plans to conquer the last slice tonight. We’ll see if he makes it.

He has made it onto Wikipedia and he didn’t even write the entry himself! I think this is quite amusing. Check out the entry about his SoberCircle Web site that mentions him!

I hope this doesn’t inflate his already healthy ego.

So the other day we were in the car and this 80s song, “Cuts Like a Knife” comes on the radio. Chris knows that I am not the best with naming people from the 80s and 90s and he is constantly quizzing me, so he asked me if I knew who sand the song.

I said, “I don’t know maybe Springstein or Mellencamp.”

He said, “It’s Bryan Adams.”

I replied, “Yeah, yeah one of those midwestern, Americiana type singers.”

To which he shook his head and gave me his pitying look and said, “Ummm, he’s Canadian.”

I may be a complete dork, but I have a huge crush on this Bugaboo Bee stroller. So much so that I am determined that it will be mine. It’s out of my league, but a girl can dream big, can’t she?

Admittedly, I have always been a bit left-leaning when it comes to my political views, but I didn’t think that would have an effect on my pregnancy. Apparently, is has. My baby bump noticeably leans left these days. So much so, that certain clothes look like they were constructed wrong because they tend to lay more to the left than to the center. It’s really quite strange and it has nothing to do where Reed is sitting, its like that all the time.

I was in charge of the food for a co-worker’s bridal shower yesterday. I got this cake, The All American Chocolate Cake, at Costco, and it was amazing. It has chocolate flakes on the outside and the cake has four layers of icing on the inside. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so Chris went and got me my own. Here it is seconds before I took a knife to it! It is heaven!!

I am due Sept. 23-ish. My original due date was Sept. 27, but after a few ultrasounds they bumped it up a bit. The earlier date matches my “chart” more accurately (I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility about week before we conceived and started paying attention to stuff — talk about good timing!)

Here’s hoping Reed comes sooner, not later (as long as he is fully “baked,” that is!)

As far as planning for delivery, I already gave Chris marching orders and a phone number - he is to have an edible arrangement at the hospital for me soon after I give birth. I think a fruit bouquet sounds more romantic than flowers and will be a good reward for the hard work I have been doing! No melons or mango or kiwi - I want pineapple, strawberries, grapes, oranges and apples! Ohhh, I wish I had one now!!!!!!!!

Having a built-in tray for food to fall on (this also applies to my cleavage which seems to serve as a Ziploc storage bag these days). So far, its been chocolate ice cream, chips/crackers crumbs, macaroni and cheese, my lunch today, you name it – I have either stored it or worn it. I look down and find random things have landed on me all the time, or with the chocolate ice cream which was concealed under my bump, Chris noticed long before I did and shook his head and laughed. It’s horrifying for someone who prides herself in not staining clothing.

Struggling to fit into a bathroom stall and then struggling to shut the door only to find there is no toilet paper in the stall.

Using the restroom only to have to the immediate urge to use it again.

Becoming way too familiar with public restrooms that I would otherwise have avoided like the plague. I have had to utilize facilities that have a creepy, Deliverence-type vibe. Sometimes I wonder if I will make it out of these public restrooms alive and without acquiring a disease!

Skin tags. Ewwwwwwww.

Stretch marks on my hiney.

Cellulite that is now growing its own baby cellulite.

Uncontrollable flatulence. Sorry to everyone who comes within smelling distance of me.

Uncontrollable belching. Sorry about that, too. I really can’t help it.

The “pregnant glow” that is really the result of a 1 million degree hotflash.

The looks of pity when I waddle down the hall, and resorting to waddling for that matter.

People repeatedly asking me how I am feeling.

I hate this because these days, I honestly always feel bad, and I don’t want anyone to think I am not grateful for the gift I have been given. I hate being a Debbie Downer, but my answer is probably going to be the same every day. It hurts to sleep, to be awake, to move, to do about anything. That is just how it is right now.

We have been looking into some nursery music for Reed, and we really can’t get into all the cutesy lullabye stuff. Fortunately, we found a very cool alternative — rock lullabies!

http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com/web/page.asp

They have everything from my all-time favorite Coldplay, to Bob Marley, The Beatles, AC/DC, Nirvana and a ton more. And they sound really good — everything is instrumental.

Here is the Coldplay song Yellow.

And here is something a little more heavy, Nirvana’s Come as You Are.

The hard part is going to be deciding which ones we get, because we kinda want them all!!