Jessica Writes

My dog, Simone, is a very affectionate lap dog. She has always been her momma’s girl, but the more pregnant I get, the more attached she has become. She must be with me always. I can’t so much as go to the ladies’ room without her following me in there and watching me with those little soft brown eyes. I cannot imagine why me doing my business is of critical need of her attendance, but it is apparently. Anything I do, she is there. And she usually wants to be in my lap or at least touching me at all times. She has begun to rest her head on my bump (which is becoming a handy shelf for various items these days) a lot.

Everyone keeps asking me if they think Simone is going to adjust to the new baby ok. I just hope that she will be as obsessed with the baby as she is with us.

Ok, I guess you were expecting a different kind of belly shot, so here goes — my 16ish week bump:

So, I am getting a little something, but I still think I just look a bit chub and not really pregnant yet.

I’m currently searching for diapers. Not for my future child. For my cat.

My dear Sasha, a cat I have had for more than nine years, will not use her litter box anymore. In fact, she peed on the hardwood floor in what was supposed to be the nursery and now the whole room reeks of urine and there is a massive stain on the floor. Don’t know what we’re going to do about that.

Chris is not happy about this situation at all. Especially since Sasha has also peed on the carpet in our master bedroom and she poops right beside the litter box, but not in it. Poor Chris has to clean the litter box and pick up any stray poo while I am pregnant, so he is quite annoyed. He has mentioned her going to live with my parents but why on earth would they want to deal with her issues? He was worried that this could hurt the baby but our doctor said the baby would have to literally roll around in the pee and poo to suffer any ill effects.

I don’t blame him, but this is my dear cat, who has been with me through so much — my first roommate, several relationships, five moves and so much more. My cat who sleeps beside me every night. My cat who follows me around everywhere and gives me kitty kisses all the time. My neurotic, floor-pissing cat.

It has gotten so bad that she is now on kitty prozac and we have put in a cat phermone plug-in to encourage her to not be stressed out and to use the litter box. I don’t see how the cat is stressed out, but all the humans in this house are. The drugs and the phermones are not helping so far.

Anyway, I am at my wits end so I am searching the Web for cat diapers. If I have to diaper a baby and a cat all in the same day, I may just lose my mind.

Simone, my 4 year old cocker spaniel/poodle mix a.ka. mutt I found in a parking lot when she was just a pup, is completely ridiculous when it comes to being near me. She must be stuck to my side like flypaper at all times. It is a joke.

Today, while I was sitting on the couch, the only free space for her was by my legs on the recliner. This is how pathetic it got today:

Yup. That’s my furry beast-child with her ass hanging off the side of the recliner.

Pathetic.